Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize