i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
false alarm. still invincible.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
