How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
