Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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