dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
