So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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