It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize