Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
