I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
