We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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