Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO