the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
