How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
