Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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