i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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