I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
