Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Houston, we have a blender
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
