yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize