After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
