He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
