i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
