i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
