I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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