I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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