Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
