I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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