He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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