I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
