I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
