I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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