I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
