I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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