I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
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