I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
