you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
