haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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