5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
