Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
