guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
