I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
