i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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