He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
