I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
