Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
