trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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