you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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