No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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