i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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