Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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