u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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