Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
