you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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