Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Couch. On fire.
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