it hurts more in the daytime
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
