I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
