This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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