I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
