Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry hater01 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

(734): View more from Michigan

Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

Fav 7 865 2036
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

Fav 17 2402 1304
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

I look better un-naked...

Fav 10 954 3840
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

Fav 8 5842 1368
share tweet
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

Fav 9 5176 1415
share tweet
(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"

Fav 4 1735 966
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

Woke up in time for my 8:15

(518): View more from New York

Good for you I'm impressed

(561): View more from Florida

I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

Fav 2 1469 1572
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(909): View more from California

I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.

Fav 1 746 449
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus

(857): View more from Massachusetts

I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.

Fav 0 68 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT