to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
