I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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