I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
