Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
