I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
love makes seman taste better
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
