nut hugger
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
