babies were throwing up all over the place
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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